TeeJaw Blog

How to Make Your Life Miserable Before You’re 25

Posted in Government and Politics by TeeJaw on Wednesday, December 7, 2011, 11: 05 PM

Walter Russell Mead reviews some of the worthless college courses that were recommended by a vacuous “lifestyle” piece in the Boston Globe, under the title of “awesome classes at Boston area colleges” that the author thought her readers would like to take.  These included such awesome classes as “Staging American Women; the Culture of Burlesque;” “Puppetry;” and “Surfing and American Culture.”

Walter Russell Mead considers these “awesome” class and offers 7 ways to ruin your life:

So, inspired by this list of awesome courses, here is a sure-fire way to make yourself miserably unhappy in your twenties.

First, enroll in a college that you cannot afford, and rely on large student loans to make up the difference.

Second, spend the next four years having as good a time as possible: hang out, hook up, and above all, take plenty of “awesome” courses.

Third, find teachers and role models who will encourage you to develop an attitude of enlightened contempt for ordinary American middle class life, the world of business, and such bourgeois virtues as self-reliance, thrift, accountability and self-discipline.  Specialize in sarcasm and snark.

Fourth, avoid all courses with tough requirements, taking only the minimum required number of classes in science, math and foreign languages.

Fifth, never think about acquiring marketable skills.

Sixth, when you graduate and discover that you have to repay the loans and cannot get a job that pays enough to live comfortably while servicing your debts, be surprised.  Blame society.  Demand that the government or your parents or evil corporations bail you out.

Seventh, expect anyone (except for other clueless losers who’ve been as stupid and wasteful as you) to sympathize with your plight, or to treat you with anything but an infuriating mixture of sorrow, pity and contempt.

A sure way to achieve unhappiness, proven by thousands of OWS protesters.

Breaking news about the OWS protestors:  Judge says Boston can kick out Occupy campers, says they are not exercising their free speech rights:

“It’s not speech it’s a hostile act, an assertion of possession against the rights of another. The act of occupation, this court has determined as a matter of law, is not speech. Nor is it immune from criminal prosecution for trespass or other crimes.”

Heh.

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